Pain

I wish I had the words
to make you feel the way I do.
Wish I could use them
to crush you,
to grow a seed inside you
that roots in your guts,
blooms
white-hot
rage;
angry vines that snake
around your heart,
your lungs,
and squeeze
until you can’t
make words.
Until you can’t
breathe.
Until you hurt
like me.

Someday

Sometimes when I lie awake,
stars twinkling above me,
I think back on the days,
the years that you loved me.
How you claimed every shore as yours,
spun the world on your fingertips.
The way you could outshine the sun
with just a grin.
I’m scared that
one day,
someday, I’ll forget.
I fear that
one day, I’ll forget.
Sometimes when I lie awake,
the shadows starting to fade,
your smile going with them
and I’m afraid that I’ll forget.
How you claimed every shore as yours,
spun the world on your fingertips.
The way you could outshine the sun
with just a grin.
I’m scared that
one day,
someday, I’ll forget.
I fear that
one day, I’ll forget.

Without Him

What is a rose without its petals?
It is but a stem.
Beauty which goes unnoticed,
-a hidden gem.

A breeze, she whispers
A flirt, a laugh
The sea and his love tides,
Her other half.

Perhaps the minor and seemingly trivial,
Are otherwise and blissful with meaning,
Shoes that are ragged by years of ambition;
A tower discerned by its leaning.

Maybe you fell once your touch met with mine,
how simply elated you felt.
A flare of desire; sparked, ignited
intensity that makes you melt.

Two can dance, create, be-a symphony.
Pairs exist, to complement; to duet
What is a color without a hue?
What is ‘me’ without ‘you’?

Darkness

light is something to be admired
it is the essence of good
the symbol of a new day, of new life, of new beginnings
regeneration and hope
a reminder that light penetrates darkness
overcoming night and the shadows lurking within

but there is a peculiar beauty about the fog that cloaks the morning skies
something about it that disguises the world
enveloping, hugging, caressing
all who dwell in its grasp
speaking volumes in its silence
in a language that light never could

something about it that brings comfort and safety to its inhabitants
an uneasiness in what lurks in the distance
a beautiful uneasiness
that reflects emotions, unspoken fears, and the future
the very epitome of uncertainty

hiding behind the veil of misty clouds lies an unspeakable beauty
beauty which represents all the trepidations of the world
an emotion that not even the most heavenly of lights could reveal in its eternal glow
one it cannot translate
one it will not allow
for darkness consumes the soul
a magnificent darkness
reflected, embraced, created by the transient fog

Attack

Closing in all around me
a fear I cant describe.
All shaky and confused
I think I'm going to die.

Thoughts so unsettling
are blocking everyone's attempts.
When all they try is to help me
I cant make sense of this.

My heart hurts
my head hurts.
And crying about it
only makes it worse.

Nobody can ever
truly understand.
And unless you've went through it
you wouldn't stand a chance.

It's just anxiety
another day of black.
You must think that I'm crazy
it's just another panic attack.

Within my Thoughts

Feel broken down, my body aches
My heart it bleeds from past mistakes
Can't stop the tears, they fall like rain
The words are spinning 'round my brain
So scared and feeling so alone
The coldness fills my every bone
No food, no sleep, can't think at all
Each way I turn, another wall
This darkness haunts my very soul
My world seems dead I've lost control
The only weapon is my pen
Depression has moved in again

My Childhood

my childhood was the time when i was innocent
when the world seemed to be fair
when my universe was around my toys

my childhood was the time when I lived in dreams
when everyone was selfless
when everyone appeared to be a friend

my childhood was the time when my life was full of colors
when sorrows never knocked my door
when smile was gift presented to everyone

my childhood was the time when love was pure
when there were no obligations
when tenderness prevailed

my childhood was the time which is long gone
tears flow from my eyes when i go back in my childhood
my childhood will never come back but
the child in me will never go