On the surface everything is good and happy. They play it off
like they are ok. Everyday of their life they put on a fake smile
and took life as it was handed to them. But as they grew things
got harder to hide,everything began to fall apart. All of the good
things in life began to fade, and then there was nothing but the
fake smile. And then nothing at all, everything was lost and would
never be the same.
Kim, you are such a beautiful girl! Having a lot of pain can be turned into something beautiful if you know write it out. Your writing makes me feel sorrow, and I think being able to make someone feel something like that is a big part of being a good writer.
ReplyDeleteI love how blunt and to the point this poem is, however, I do think you should try using a wider vocabulary, but I think the poems twist was a perfect touch.:)
ReplyDeleteI really like how honest this paragraph is, it doesn't cover everything with little details it's just all laid out. Making it a little bit longer wouldn't hurt but it is very relatable and honest which is a good quality to have in a writing.
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